jueves, febrero 15, 2007

La gente era más feliz cuando solo celebraba el Día del Amor y la Amistad en Septiembre.

Se jugaba al "amigo secreto", se proponían citas para comer en Von Glacet o en Crepés y Waffles o en Le Grillé o en D'Omo o Pizza Hut. Uno regalaba un bono de la Librería Nacional y quedaba como un príncipe o compraba rosas al lado de cualquier Carulla y las metía en una caja vacía proviniente de una floristería más fina (¿Alguien se acuerda de la famosa Floristería La Rana René?). Los que más, compraban algún producto Hershey's y, los que menos, se defendían con confitería nacional como Italo o Triunfo - productores de los famosos cigarrillos de chocolate.

Pero con la globalización ya he visto a más de uno deprimido por no tener un "sweet valentine". Más de una niña emo se quiere cortar las venas con un Cocosette porque ese chico emo con el piercing en el labio inferior no llamó ni apareció con una flor marchita.

Los invito a dejar la maricada. El Día de San Valentín no debería ser una fecha importante para nosotros los colombianos. Hoy he tenido que ver (en un recorrido que va de la 155 con 32 hasta la 116 con 7ª, que es mi centro de operaciones) como a cuatro chinas pendejas atacadas llorando por razones del corazón. En serio, niños....

... como vamos, vamos a terminar celebrando el Día de Acción De Gracias al ritmo de La Gran Fiesta de los Hogares Colombianos.


Rev. Jakob Koshkat.


martes, febrero 13, 2007

1. What is your first name? Juan.

2. Middle name? Camilo.

3. When is your birthday? November 15.

4. How old does that make you? 25 years old.

5. What colour is your hair? Light Hazel.

6. Eyes? Blueish Greenish Grayish.

7. Skin? Pale as fuck.

8. Do you have any siblings? Not really.

9. What are their names? Um... Did I mention that I don't have any siblings?

10. How old are each of them? +sigh+

11. Do you have any pets? Used to.

12. What are their names if you have any? I have none right now.  But I want a mean dog (a Rottweiler, for instance) to call it Shiva (if it's a boy) or Kali (with an accent on the "i", if it's a girl)

13. Do you use a 2 in 1 shampoo or not? Yes... and I use some conditioner on top of that.

14. What Shampoo/Conditioner do you use? Head n' Shoulders 2 in 1 and L'oreal Elvive conditioner.

15. What toothpaste do you use? Colgate Max Fresh and Rembrandt Whitening toothpaste.

16. What is your favorite TV show? Right now? Boston Legal.  

17. Website? www.nothingandnowhere.com

18. Food? Japanese, Thai, Italian, Greek, Mideast, seafoot

19. Colour? Black, Blue, Purple, Red, White, Gray.

20. Animal?Dogs, wolves, bears, foxes, raccoons...

21. Do you like broccoli? A lot. Barely cooked, cold and with some vinegar and salt.

22. Do you like chocolate? That's the main reason of my existance.

23. Do you have a mobile phone? Yep.

24. Do you smoke? Quit smoking a while ago.

25. Do you drink? Every now and then.

26. Do you/have you ever owned a site? I don't know if I actually own my Blogs and my Myspace's profile. But they sure OWN.

27. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Not really...

28. What nationality(s) are you? Colombian

29. Are you afraid to sing or speak in front of people? Not in the least.

30. What is your biggest fear? A long and devastating disease.

31. Do you think Orlando Bloom is hot or a wimp? He's a fucking prick.

32. Do you like rock music? It's only rock n' roll, but I like it.

33. How about rap? Some, usually the most experimental stuff. I can't stand the gansta shit, though.

34. Can you dance very well? I can dance, but I don't really care if I do it well.

35. Even though you don’t want to admit it, did you ever like The Backstreet Boys? Nope, but I used to like New Kids on the Block when I was eight.

36. Do you watch reality TV or do you think it’s a bunch of crap? Define "Reality"...

37. Do you support Bush or Kerry, even if you are not American? Fuck politics and politicians! Here, there... it's all the same!

38. Windows or Mac? I want to have a Mac.

39. How many TV’s do you have in your house? Two.

40. How many computers? One.

41. Are your nails long or short? Short.

42. Do you paint them? I used to paint them black. I might give it a try again, though.

43. Do you wear makeup? Every now and then.

44. What color nail varnish or lipstick/gloss do you use? I don't care about colors, but flavors.

45. Do you put mascara on your bottom lashes? I used to, back in my Goth days...

46. How many hours a day do you spent on the computer? A lot...

47. How about watching TV? Like two hours and that's it.

48. Are you attracted to blond, brunette, or red headed girls? Like lipgloss... I don't care about colors, but flavors.

49. What is hotter: Jock or Skater? None

50. A guitar player or drum player? We, guitar players (and bass players and sequencing electronic geeks) are hotter.

51. About how many books do you read in a month? From four to seven.

52. About how many movies? 4 or 5.

53. Do you like ice cream? Too much.

54. What is your favorite flavor? Chocolate, Raspberry, Cherries...

55. What kind of gum do you chew? Bubblicious Cotton Candy

56. Would you ever chew it in class when it is not allowed? SPECIALLY if it's not allowed.

57. Would you ever talk back to a teacher? That's the only thing that keeps me awake in a clasroom.

58. Have you ever been to a bat/bar mitzvah? Yes. A little prick almost poked my eye out with an almond.

59. What is your religion? Satanist.

60. Do you practice it a lot or is it casual? I LIVE it every day.

61. Do you live in a city, town, village or rural area? I live in the Bogotan equivalent of the suburbs. I like it.

62. Do you own a car? Sorta... It's my Dad's car.

63. Can you even drive? Yep... But I'm not crazy about it.

64. Can you type slow or fast? Like an old-fashioned secretary.

65. How often do you check your email? Three times a day.

66. Do you have any instant messengers? Yup. They're better than telephones.

67. Which ones? MSN Messenger.

68. Can you talk to your crush easily or do you get all nervous? I talk easily when I feel my crush will be empathetic and when I feel we like each other. When I feel there's a distance, I become a wreak.

69. Have you ever asked a crush out? Yes.

70. Have you ever called a crush out of the blue? Yes. Sometimes the response is amusing. Sometimes, it is disappointing

71. Do you have a crush at the moment? MANY.  I like too many girls at the same time.

72. Do you like to watch game shows? Not really...

73. Do you like school? I HATED SCHOOL! I still do...

74. Did you get good grades? Only if I liked the assignature and/or the teacher.

75. What was your favorite class? English, Social Studies, Religion, Music, Arts...

76. Teacher?  My Ethics teacher.  Beautiful, young and smart woman.  Too bad she's maried...

77. What kind of school are you in? I'm doing a major on Social Communication and Radio Production at the Pontificia Universidad Javeriana de Colombia.

78. Have you ever moved cities? When I was very little.

79. Counties? Yes.

80. Countries? Lived in the US for a while. Florida, Massachussets, Florida...

81. Do you like to take risks? Some. That's the whole game of life.

82. Do you have any bad habits? Yes. Don't we all?

83. Do you sleepwalk? I used to when we moved in to Cedritos.

84. Do you like waking up? Yeah. Sometimes, I like to wake up and then go back to bed.

85. Do you like roller coasters? I LOVE THEM! And I want to try bungee jumping, pendulum and give parachutes another try.

86. Would you go on the highest and fastest one in the world? Bring it on, bitch.

87. Do you know which one that is? If you ask me, it probably is The Superman.

88. Would you ever wear a dress? Fuck yeah! Whatever ma loo pretty... this is kinda queer to some, but I always wondered how would I look like a girl.

89. Do you like the sound of your own voice? I LOVE my voice. Smooth and dark and sexy.

90. Are you tone deaf? Nope.

91. Are you easily scared? Sometimes. Depends on the mood.

92. How about disgusted? Sometimes.

93. What accent do you have? A slightly "paisa" (from the coffee region of Colombia) accent in Spanish and a slightly Middle North Accent/neutral accent in English.

94. What kind of cool are you? Cerebral, brainfreeze cool.

95. Do you like to solve puzzles? Every now and then, it's a challenge.

96. Are you old enough to vote? Yes, but I don't vote.

97. What is your dream car? A black, huge and pimped-out hearse.

98. Job? Touring musician

99. Home? A loft in Boston South.

100. What is your clothing style? A bit gothic, a bit dandy, a bit fashionista, a bit ridiculous...

101. Do you hate or love Abercrombie and Fitch? I haven't seen anything interesting by them.  Overprized preppy clothes to turn kids into walking banners.

102. Do you hate stereotypes/labels? Nah. But I hate people that openly admit they HATE labels because they're just as stereotypical as they can get.

103. What kind of people annoy you most? Unimaginative, lousy, whiny, dull, mediocre people.

104. Have you ever had a dream that keeps coming back? Yes.

105. Do people who spell things incorrectly annoy you? Makes me want to stick bamboo toothpicks underneath their nails

106. Does internet speek lyk dis annoy u? It pisses me off.

107. What was your first word? It doesn't matter. I will always have the LAST word.

108. How old were you? Meh...

109. What time were you born? Like 5:thirtysomething PM, while my Dad was watching a box match in the TV.

110. Do you think you are cool? Yeah.

111. Do you hate yourself? Only when I find myself calling ex-girlfriends for sexual favors.

112. What do you not like about yourself? I'm a bit of a sloth and I don't like that. Sometimes I let my family hurt me too easily, sometimes pretty people intimidate me. Maybe I'm ignoring something else... but I kinda like being myself.

113. What do you do when you are bored? Sleep (when possible), write, draw, play some guitar, watch some tv, masturbate (when possible), go for a walk...

114. Do you wear hats? Yes.  and I finally found a place where they sell derby hats.

115. Do you chat with strangers on the internet? Sometimes...

116. Do you own any band t-shirts? A Cure t-shirt I bougt at the concert, a Mötorhead tee I bought when I was 14 (I used to love, love and will love skulls) and a John Lennon shirt my Dad gave me when I was 15.

117. What is the color of your room? White and blue..

118. What is the color of your bedding? Black and white.

119. Are you allergic to anything? Sudden changes of weather, wind, sun. I get nervous rashes too.

120. If you are, do you mind that you allergic to it? Nah. I get the rashes and that's it.

121. What was the last scary movie you watched? I don't get easily scared, so I don't know... I wanna see the whole Saw saga, though.

122. What is your favorite candy bar? Would you call Lindt chocolates a candy bar?

123. Mint? Ginger Altoids

124. Did you pass notes in class? Every now and then...

125. Would you ever cheat on a test? Fuck yeah. The only thing tests actually prove is your ability to follow orders.

126. What if you knew for 100% sure that you wouldn’t get caught? I'd do it, no doubt.

127. What is your lucky number? I have many:3, 4, 9, 13, 23, 150, 666...

128. What about your unlucky number? 12

129. Do you gamble? Nope. I only make bets when I know I'm gonna win.

130. Would you ever wear pink? NEVER

131. Would you ever wear high heels? I'd give it a try, though.

132. What is the furthest you have ever been from your birthplace? South Weymouth, Massachussets.

133. Do you have a job? Not really. Haven't found a job worth the hassle...

134. Do you like it? Bleh...

135. Do you like your boss? Bah...

136. Have you ever made/played with a cootie catcher? Nope.

137. Do you think they are stupid like me, or do you like them, or do you have no idea what they are? Not a fuckin' clue.

138. Would you rather write with a pen, pencil or crayon? Pencil

139. Would you ever write with a crayon? Yeah. I miss drawing with crayons.

140. Have you ever made graffiti? Yes.

141. Have you ever broken the law? Fuck yeah..

142. Have you ever been arrested? Nope...

143. Have you ever made any clothing? Nope, but I want to learn how to do so...

144. Are you proud of your country? Fuck no. I'm only proud of the things I've achieved... and being born in Colombia was more of an accidental thing.


146. Are you lazy? I’m a sloth, but I'm starting to fight against inertia.

147. What is a unusual fact about you? I'm a self-appointed Satanic Priest and I take it seriously. If Dr. Lavey could, why shouldn't I ?

148. Do you have your own or do you share a room? I Have my Dad's room and my room, so I have two rooms that I don't share..

149. Who is your best friend? I am.

150. Do they trust you and do you trust them? I have to. Otherwise I wouldn't be my best friend.

151. Are you nice to most people? I am as polite as situations allow me.  Push my buttons and I'll eat you alive.

152. Do you think Kill Bill is good or stupid or have you never seen it? One of my favorite movies.

153. Do you like to play dodgeball? Only when I have the ball.

154. What sports do you like to play? I'm not crazy about sports, but I want to get involved in either Taekwondo or Capoeira.

155. Do you plan to get married? Yes, I do

156. Have kids? Indeed

157. What is more important to you: money or happiness? Happinnes, then money. But they're both necessary.  They feed each other back.

158. What is most important to you out of everything in the world?  Sleep

159.  Do you snore? A little.

160. Do you get sick a lot? Nah. I am healthy as fuck...

161. Who is your favorite actor? Tough one. Let's say that my top five are Christopher Walken, Johnny Depp, Kevin Spacey, Al Pacino and Jeremy Irons.

162. Actress? Same goes here. My top five are Cristina Ricci, Natalie Portman, Mena Suvari, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aki Maeda (the main actress from Battle Royale).

163. Can you cook well? I'm a great cook.

164. Does it actually taste good? It has to. Otherwise, what's the point?

165. Have you ever been on a diet? Yep. I'm on one right now, to control the weight gain as I quit smoking.

166. What’s cuter: a puppy or a kitten? A baby tatantula.

167. Are you scared of dieing? Huh?

168. How about dying? Not really. I just don't want it to happen soon or right now.

69. Do you like chunky or smooth peanut butter? Chunky rocks.

170. If someone you hated were dying of thirst in the desert, would you give them a drink? No. Fuck him/her. He/she should've known better before pissing me off. That is, assuming that I HATE that person. If I simply dislike that person or if I'm upset at that person, things change. But if I HATE that person, let him/her die.

171. Do you want to be smarter, sweeter, or hotter? Hotter. I want people to OBSESS over me.

172. Is there anything you would change about yourself apart from the three above? I'd like to be a bit thinner, though.

173. Do you like the look of your handwriting? Love it. It's almost Victorian.

174. Are you good at writing poems? Yeah.

175. Stories? Yeah.

176. Essays? Oh, yeah.

177. Would you ever jump in mud fully clothed for $50? I've done it for less.

178. Did you know that some crazy people do that for free? I'm one of them.

179. How do like your tea/coffee? As strong as they can be brewed, no sugar, hot.

180. Where is your favorite place to get coffee/tea/hot chocolate? Solferino.

181. Do you do your chores? Nah.

182. Willingly? NEVER.

183. Have you ever pranked someone? Oh, yes... successfully, I must admit as well.

184. Who do you think is the hottest celebrity? I might change my mind eventually, but I've been kind of fixated with Isabella Rosellini, Isabelle Adjani, Rosanne Arquette and Jayne Mansfield lately. Mainstream, nowadays, Hotties are kind of tasteless.

185. Do you like France? A bit

186. Would you ever live there? Only if Galatea's still there.

187. What language do you know FLUENTLY? Spanish and English.

188. What languages do you know, NOT fluently? Portuguese, French, Italian, Japanese.

189. Do you like 80's movies? Oh yes... I'm an 80's flick freak

190. Do you like I Love the 70s, 80s, 80s Strikes Back, and 90s? I hate how they vilify and apply 21st century gay humor to things that were meaningful in my youth. Fuck them. I regret some of the fads back then (I had a mullet when I was eight), but most of them mean something to me.

191. Have you ever been in a play? Yup

192. If so, were you a lead part ever? The antagonist, as always.

193. Have you ever made up a dance with your friends? Hm... A few, influenced by Sprockets and Scientology.

194. Have any of your friends moved so far away that you can’t see them often? Yes. Some of them move to Europe and it pisses me off.

195. If so, do you keep in touch? I try...

196. Have you ever written a song? That's the only thing that makes me wake up in the morning.

197. If so, was it good? You'll hear of me pretty soon.

198. Can you play an instrument? Guitar, bass guitar, sequences and programming, some keyboards and a bit of singing...

199. Are you getting bored of these questions? Naaaaah...

200. Would you ever sit here making up 200 questions for your site like I just did if you were so bored? Not really...